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Research paper topic: A Modest Proposal: A Different Version - 1024 words
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A Modest Proposal: A Different Version I am among the 850 people that attend Jesuit Prep. Each day at Jesuit Prep, we attend 8 grueling classes with 45 minutes of monotonous teaching about many subjects. Within each classroom, all the beady eyes of each student stare off into either space or the hanging clock on the opposite wall. As the 45 minutes tick away and the teacher rambles about a subject, the second and minute hand on the clock seem to slow down, then stop their rotational turns. While the clock appears to stop, often our heads droop down, at where we are sitting, till they reach a comfortable position upon our arms which we have placed across our desks.
Once this repetitive classroom sequence of events happens, as is often the case within Jesuit Prep, we are swept away to our own mental classroom of deep sleep. This deep sleep is a common occurrence at Jesuit Prep. Yet, every time the teachers bore us to sleep, our future is hurt by our loss of vital information to help us continue through High School College. As humbly as I may, I propose to solve this problem and help the students of Jesuit Prep enjoy these classrooms of boredom. This proposal, deeply thought out to solve the common problem of students sleeping and hurting their future lives and careers is to place table top dancers in every classroom.
I have worked out the details entailing the added cost of these daily dancing ladies. A well-known friend of mine, who owns a nightclub off of Harry Hines, was kind enough to divulge the rates per hour that dancers, he could find for Jesuit Prep, would accept. The amount I was told is $5.00 per hour, ensured that this was a very generous deal by my friend. This meager hourly wage, times the 7 hours of school, times the 30 classrooms, and times the 180 class days of school equals approximately $200.00 added towards each student's tuition. Each student's tuition, currently at around $5,600 would be raised barely less than 4% to $5,800 per year.
As you can see, the statistics have been thoroughly thought out, the next question is where to place these table-top dancers. Each classroom currently has at least one main desk towards the front of the classroom. Each day the desks are barely touched by teachers and people, as most teachers use portfolios or briefcases to carry their as nments and papers with themselves. The desks, therefore being unused, could serve as ample room for the dancers to take their position and dance throughout the period. As the administration and teachers understand the positive impact this creates in the learning curve, further enhancements may be made to include a metal pole, that can serve to aid the dancers, installed at the front corner of each room.
A famous European friend of mine has implemented this method of teaching into his courses, with the metal poles, and continually praises this idea as an excellent way to transfer his daily information to his students. . This proposal, thought out in every respect, will influence more than just the students. Each dancer, by working all day, 5 days a week, is supplied with a steady job and is kept in the labor force earning a honest living. The dancers are also able to pick up spending money as cash is slipped to them by students during class, assuming the child has been paying attention to the lesson and the teacher allows it.
The teachers will have their students awake and attentive during the period for lessons and information by offering private dances with the dancers if certain students behave correctly. As the students learn more information, based upon this rewarding classroom atmosphere, parents may become more confident in their child's college search process because of their improved grades. As the improved grades are returned, no doubt that the school pride and appreciation will increase as well. Everyone's self-esteem will rise, and support for other programs will grow. Although with all of these advantages, there are always people who can critique any well thought and laid out proposal. Myself, I can only think of 2 questions, which only the extremely judgmental person may come up in response to such a grand plan at solving such a problem. Firstly, that the cost of these table top dancers may seem rather steep.
My only retort to that comment is that there is always a price for improving education, especially at this level and grand of scale. The children's education comes first in my mind though, and for myself, I would pay any price to make sure I am well taught and am well prepared for any future endeavors which I plan to proceed into. These dancers are of the highest quality, for the children deserve only that much. Secondly, a concern I did not initially think of due to its pure obscurity and the fact that with a proposal such as this, it is not of a major concern to most loving and caring parents with their children's' education in the refront of their minds. This concern is related to the dancers being used as sexual objects in front of their children.
I would like to restate that these are dancers hand-picked, of the highest quality and have years of experience to back up their credentials. The dancers are hired only as a learning stimulus for the class, there is no intention of using these highly experienced ladies as sexual objects, for that would only insult themselves and their profession. With the major points addressed, it should be clear to you that my proposal has been thoroughly thought out and is unmatched, for nobody else has attempted to curb the learning in schools by such a proposal full of positive points, none of which are negative. I challenge anyone else to think up a more in depth proposal for a solution to boredom in Jesuit School. Until that time, I expect to see this proposal looked over earnestly by the top-administering school officials and placed into action as soon as it is agreed upon that this is a perfect solution to an ongoing problem.
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